Communicating with Buyer 2.0 requires new thinking and new approaches. Today’s seller 2.0 must help the buyer clarify and define his or her goals or vision of the future state of the business. Your job as the seller is to understand their business and motivate him or her to partner with you to make that vision a reality. But how can you motivate the buyer if we don’t understand what is on their mind? Listening helps us connect, unlock the mind if the buyer, and it shows we care. When we really listen, it is more likely that the buyer will listen to us.
Reflective Listening
To truly understand what the buyer is thinking we must learn and use reflective listening. Reflective listening is more than just hearing, listening or even active listening. It is the golden key to unlocking what is on the buyer’s mind. Reflective listening is a communication strategy that involves two key steps: (1) seeking to understand the buyer’s idea, and then (2) presenting the words and feelings back to the buyer, to confirm you have understood him or her correctly. Note, this does not mean to parrot back every word or to act like a counseling session. It means to present the key thoughts and the emotions you hear and observe. It takes practice. However, it is a skill that builds trust, and it helps you work with the buyer to solve their problem or show them opportunities they can take advantage of.
By the way, it is also a great value in our personal and other business relationships, so this skill is power packed as it has an influence on our lives in multiple areas.
Now that we have defined reflective listening and its value let’s take a look at how to listen reflectively, the actions we need to take, and the things we need to change.
Actions to Take
Last week I went to a restaurant with a good friend. We were enjoying our conversation when we noticed the six people at the next table were not talking to each other. They were all texting on their phones. In fact, we realized two of them were texting each other. That is not listening.
Listening begins with giving the buyer your full attention. Put down your phone, look away from your iPad or tablet, lean forward to show interest, and make eye contact. Good eye contact signals the buyer that you are ready to listen, and it gets you focused on the message. It also helps you read the emotions of the buyer, so you can gauge your response to not only the words but also the feelings.
Listen with both your eyes and your ears. Their voice can vary in tone, pitch, volume and rate to convey different meanings and emotions. Ensure your facial expression matches the situation. Non-verbal cues communicate much more than your words. Smiling, nodding your head or saying: “Go on, tell me more” demonstrates to the buyer that you are paying attention and encourages him or her to continue to share. The buyer has given you precious time out of the day, so you need to make him or her feel they are the most important person in the world at that moment. This behavior also helps you remained focused on what the buyer is saying.
Distractions, Judging, Critiquing
It is important to shut out any environmental sounds as well as the noise in your mind. This skill also takes practice, but you need to do this to listen and understand the intent of what the buyer is saying. Listen without judging or critiquing. We must take in all that the buyer says and not rush to judgment or criticize his or her views. If you do make this mistake, it will change the focus of the conversation to you. It will also interfere with your understanding, and it may harm the relationship.
Responding
Most people begin preparing their response when they have heard the first half or less of the speaker’s comments. It is essential to restrain yourself and not plan your response while the buyer is speaking. Focusing on the buyer will allow you to comprehend the meaning of the message. After reading this post, take note of yourself and other people today. Notice how often people are not fully listening, they are preparing their response. Your findings may surprise you.
Mirroring Your Customer
You want to act as a mirror, so the buyer gets a clearer vision of the future state and of his or her goals. Therefore, merely reflect back the thoughts and feelings of what you heard, untainted with opinion, or judgment. This response conveys an interest in what the buyer is saying. It also helps create a trusting environment for the conversation. When you have the full picture, then you can offer your solution in a way that indicates you will be working together.
Expressing Empathy
Empathize with the buyer. When we empathize with the buyer, we put ourselves in their shoes. We see it as they see it, hear it as they hear it, feel it as they feel it and understand it how they understand it. This behavior allows the buyer to expand on their problems or add insight to their vision. Also, do not feel that they have to agree with your views completely. The buyer should be allowed to think and feel as they do at the moment. We can offer persuasive information after we have communicated our understanding of their situation. We have to build trust and a working relationship that respects the views of the buyer before offering solutions.
Thought Provoking Questions
You want to motivate the buyer and help him or her choose you to work together with you to solve their problem or take advantage of an opportunity. So, craft thought-provoking questions that will uncover issues or stimulate the buyer’s thinking and create a dialogue.
What to Change or Stop
You want to keep the conversation moving forward and positive. However, some behaviors shift the focus to us or block forward progress in the conversation as well as harming the sales opportunity. So, let’s discuss some things that you may need to change or stop doing.
Interrupting
Don’t interrupt the buyer when he or she is speaking. It tells the buyer that what you have to say is more important than what they have to say. If an idea comes to mind, make a note of a very few words to give you a hint for your response when the buyer is finished speaking. It is also a poor listening behavior to jump in and offer advice as soon as possible. You will risk not gaining the full situation and losing a sale or at the least getting a much smaller sale.
Selective Listening
Another poor listening skill is to practice selective listening. It is responding only to the parts of the conversation that interest you or will lead to a sale and tuning out everything else. You can miss vital information or fail to eliminate an objection by selectively listening.
Quality Skills
When meeting with more than one person in a meeting, be sure that you are listening to everyone. You can use behaviors of the quality or Lean processes such as bringing in, building on, ensuring no one is shutting out another person and asking for further explanation.
Take care when sharing your story or a customer success story. You want to build confidence but not one-up the buyer. You want the spotlight to remain on the buyer. So, the story should spark interest and allow the buyer to build on it with his or her own ideas.
Tips for Improvement
To improve you listening skills, you need to listen to yourself as well as our prospects or customers. Following meetings with customers, co-workers, family or friends, reflect on your listening skills. Ask for feedback from those you trust. Work to improve your listening skills, and you will see that your sales will increase, and your relationships will improve.
You can learn more about sales skills, business storytelling and Lean in other blog posts and podcasts on our website: www.salestrainingsolutions.com.
About the Author
Phyllis Mikolaitis is a sales coach, author, and speaker with over 30 years’ global experience. She is dedicated to taking you beyond the typical “how to” courses to the heart of persuasion techniques incorporating insights and stories to win the sale. Phyllis has also had training in Leadership Through Quality, Six Sigma and Lean. Visit Phyllis and her business partner John Switzer on other pages on www.salestrainingsolutions.com. The links on our website allow you to listen to our podcasts or catch up on past blog posts on this and other sales topics.
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